Now comes the hard part of the game: talking about their feelings. As with previous games, this is the crucial step; without it, the game remains a shallow piece of acting-out. The couple should lie facing one another, and talk about what it felt like to be a man or a woman, what they wanted from each other, how they felt sexually, and what they remembered from the past—particularly their childhood. They should be candid about the negative feelings that came up. The man may say, “It felt kind of good not to be a man; not to have to initiate sex and risk rejection.” The woman may say, “It felt strong to be a man—I could make all the moves and didn’t have to restrain myself.” He may say, “You know, I got in touch with how much I’d like to be a woman, and how much I resent women—and you.” She may say, “I got in touch with how much I hate men and their arrogant attitudes about their penises.”

This conversation can go in many directions. The important thing is to let the conversation continue to go wherever it will—no matter how embarrassing, risky, or seemingly insane.


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